Help be a part of the bromhidrosis solution

Jim Lee

I have been receiving a number of suggestions for topics lately. I really appreciate the input. After all, nobody has a patent on ideas.
These suggestions have ranged from what to wear on Halloween to significant improvements for the community — and a whole lot of stuff in between.
Of course Halloween was over two weeks ago, so Phil Gill’s costume suggestion will have to wait until next year (hopefully longer than that because I would look hideous in a dress).
Among the suggestions was dealing with the issue of bromhidrosis. Millions of Americans are afflicted with this unfortunate malady, including, I suspect, many of that number right here in Roosevelt County.
Something must be done. My goodness, friends and neighbors, how many people even care about this unfortunate burden so many must endure? Does anyone ever give bromhidrosis so much as a passing thought unless directly affected by it? How long must such callous disregard of human suffering go on?
Not only does this affliction invade the lives of its direct victims, it causes widespread misery of their loved ones. Living with a victim is no easy matter. I have personally witnessed shortness of breath, wheezing, watering eyes, coughing, and fainting.
Living with a victim of bromhidrosis is definitely not easy, and is often unpleasant to the point of insomnia and impulsive pummeling of loved ones.
Shouting and cursing has frequently come about in afflicted households. Divorces and runaway offspring have been reported. Hamsters have been observed going into convulsions in their little wire exercise wheels. Skunks have been known to throw themselves in the path of large trucks after encountering a person with this ailment.
I know a victim who has not removed his shoes in 14 years over fear of actually killing his wife and children, forced to watch them writhe in odiferous torment because paramedics refuse to enter the house, even when wearing gas masks.
As you may have guessed at this point, I am a victim of this horrible curse. I don’t know how to explain the sorrow I experience when removing my shoes and seeing Saundra gag and collapse in a whimpering heap.
The malady has progressed to the point where even that clamp on her nose gives no relief.
Up to this point in writing this column, I have avoided speaking out for any specific cause. But enough is enough. Something must be done before civilization as we know it implodes into shuddering oblivion. When a representative calls on you and your inherent goodness, your expansive humanity, please volunteer your services, your heart, and your resources to the National Stinky Feet Foundation.
NSFF desperately needs our support. Bromhidrosis (as it is known scientifically) can be defeeted with research and dedication.
Are we going to simply stand by in our apathy and watch society disintegrate? Or shall we become part of the solution instead of the cause?

Jim Lee is news director for KENW-FM radio. He also is an English instructor. He can be contacted at 359-2204. His e-mail:
dr_james_lee@hotmail.com