My turn: Surnames have power to mislead

While texting a buddy about a tee time during a recent commencement, a graduate named “Goff” walked across the stage. The coincidence made me wonder if people’s surnames might play a role in their future.

Could petite “Marshall” become Jal’s first female sheriff?

Does lanky “Rush” have a shot at pro football?

Might theater major “Page” get an entry-level position on The Tonight Show?

What about “Brydle” becoming a horse-whisperer?

Can the tall “Short” avoid an identity crisis as an electrical engineer?

Will “Briggs” work at a military detention center?

Shall broadcast major “Fogg” pursue a weatherwoman career?

Is it possible that English major “Poe” might write spooky poetry?

Should we encourage accounting major “Boreing” to pursue a different career?

Would “Hunter” be able to feed his family on squirrel stew and elk burgers?

Do we hear wedding bells for “Prince” and “Charming?”

Why couldn’t “Brazil” and “Almond” open an orchard?

Who would be surprised if “Dye” makes a fortune selling T-shirts to old hippies?

When might “Nickles” and “Dollar” open a discount store?

How could “Elder” and “Jesus” miss becoming wealthy televangelists?

Feel free to brainstorm your own career choices for: “Baker,” “Bates,” “Bridges,” “Buckle,” “Butler,” “Gardner,” “Spitz,” “Broome” and “Shovelin.”