How to appropriately plan for a Superbowl celebration:
1. Don’t go if you are going to be a spoilsport. By spoilsport, I mean anyone who cannot enter into the spirit of the event because he or she is too frustrated over, for example, what the Bengals did. It may be easy for me to say this, as I am both a Packers and a Steelers fan so I will feel pretty happy regardless of the outcome. But don’t show up for the party if you are going to spend the entire first half crying about how your Redskins should have been in this one- or whatever your team may be.
2. Don’t eat before you show up. As a host of any party, I always find it puzzling if someone shows up and, when the time for food rolls around, protests that he or she has already eaten. Especially is this so if one of the main focal points of the party is the table spread, it would make sense to not eat and ruin your appetite — unless, of course, one is only attending the party to pacify one’s date.
3. Don’t attend the party simply to pacify your date. I have seen such persons — bored (usually women, but not always) who sit through the whole game with their arms crossed, checking their watches every five minutes. Such people don’t even enjoy the halftime show or the commercials.
4.This does not mean that you have to like football. Several years ago, we invited my friend Katherine Erin, who does not know a slot formation from a pass option. She had never even attended a Superbowl party before, but came up because she wanted to be with us, enjoy the game, and have something to do on a Sunday cold afternoon besides wait for Monday. She had a fine time. (If you’re reading this, Erin,we miss you.)
5. Don’t pretend to be the local expert. If you really know what you are talking about, you will not have to show it by disecting every play.
6. Don’t yell so loud and so often that you forget there are some of us in the room who are really watching the plays. Yes, the main point is to have fun, but quite a few people really do want to sit there and work out the plays in their heads, second guess the coaches, etc. Allow us room for our mental gymnastics.
7. Questions are fine. There is no such thing as a dumb question, If the people with whom you are watching the game haven’t the patience to help you learn, then you probably should be watching the game with someone more tolerant.
8. Don’t play that tired joke that I play on my dad every year. Calling someone (like him) who lives in the Eastern Time Zone and asking them at halftime who won the game (since they are two hours ahead) so you can go out and bet money on the winner. As he reminds me, it wasn’t funny the first time, and it’s even less so now.
9. Remember that this is a contemporary American holiday. No kidding, I think at this time of year about friends of mine, like Erin, John,or Alberto, with whom I have shared past Superbowls, and who now live in other parts of the country. While this doesn’t place it on a par with Christmas, it does generate happy memories. Hope you make a few of your own. Let’s see — I like both teams — is it Go Peelers! or Go Stackers?