In search of ponies: Dogs divided on candidates

There’s unrest around my place.

My girl can do it on her own and would rather take it upon herself to get what she needs than rely on the household. If she’s hungry, she’s one to sort it out it out herself rather than wait for the dish to be filled and she would rather spend her time making sure the yard is safe than anything else.

She really doesn’t want anyone telling her what to do and prefers a hands-off approach, but at the same time, she’s not much for the shenanigans of others.

My crazy little terrier, on the other hand, will wait for the bowls to be filled, eying his equal portion in satisfaction as everybody lines up to eat. He doesn’t like her judging eyes when he goes on about his free spirited ways, and he doesn’t think too highly of the fact she doesn’t like to share when she gets something good.

The other guys, well, they kind of go back and forth. They like the food getting poured into the bowls, but hate the fence that confines their movements. They like to secure the yard from time to time, but then other days they just aren’t worried about it.

Most of the time they all manage to get along, but recently things have been challenging.

The trouble all started when she found the website “Pets with Newt,” and submitted her photo, signing on in support.

The terrier quickly retaliated by sending his photo to the “Pet Lovers for Obama” Facebook page and clicking “Like.”

While he said he loved the page, he said what really sold him was that time Obama hopped in the car with Bo and went off to PetSmart in search of Christmas presents, and, of course, I got pulled into things when he reminded me I NEVER take him anywhere in the car.

He tried to use his argument as leverage to get me to order an “I bark for Barack” magnet, but I was able to duck out of the room before he got too far.

As I was leaving, one of the dogs, I’m still not sure which, mentioned that it was Rick Santorum who introduced the Pet Animal Welfare Statute six years ago — but of course somebody else remembered some near-forgotten 2003 comment he made about gay marriage that cast dogs in a bad light.

It wasn’t long before there was a bunch of snarling and one of them started yapping something about supporting “pet projects” meaning something else entirely.

But things really got bad when the other pooches came across the “Dogs Against Romney” blog and a huge row unfolded.

One thought roof surfing all the way to Canada sounded like a lot of fun, while another furiously defended Seamus the Irish setter’s right to ride inside the car with a window seat.

And then somebody had to go and show the cats the picture of Gengrich posing at a zoo with a fancy spotted feline and the hissing began, with one cat calling him a hero and the other convinced it was photo-shopped.

Mark my words, if I ever find out who showed the horses that YouTube video of Vermin Supreme, it’s going to be ugly. I spent hours trying to explain he’s a satirical candidate who has no intention of actually delivering his promised “pony for a vote” — yeah, they don’t get it. They still think if they can just convince me to support him they will get a little brother or sister to pick on.

Now I’ve had to ban them all from the news and the computer. Particularly the undecided, for fear they might stumble across the site selling the Ron Paul dog T-shirt, you know, the one with the Facebook “Like” thumb on the back and his name underneath.

Unfortunately, the damage is done and ever since they saw all the campaigns aimed at them, there has been nothing but squabbling around the house and the yard.

It’s unpleasant, but I have to admit, I’m even more nervous about the day they all stop fighting each other and start trying to sway my vote.

It’s going to be a long 10 months.