The Lady of the House and I have one of those store-bought, above ground pools in the backyard.
We set it up a few weeks ago. The Lady of the House reasoned if we set it up while the days were mild the probability was low that we'd get into one of those terse "discussions" that tend to happen whilst doing chores in the hot, hot sun.
While we were outside a car pulled over. Inside were a man and a woman.
"Is that the same pool y'all had last year?" asked the man. "My wife says it is and I say it isn't."
"Funny you should ask," said The Lady of the House.
This year's pool is new.
Re-using last year's pool wasn't meant to be.
When pool time was over last year we carefully put it away.
When the time came to put it up this year we gingerly rolled it out and filled it up.
There was a leak.
We patched the hole.
It kept leaking.
Not only that, but there was another leak.
The Lady of the House was not amused.
When I came home from work the next day there was a big pile of blue plastic in the yard.
"I'm sorry you're having trouble with the pool this year," I said.
"It's OK," said The Lady of the House. "We're getting a new pool."
"Sorry about the old one," I said.
"That's alright too," said The Lady of the House. "I got my revenge on it."
"You know how hard it is to get the last couple of hundred gallons of water out of the thing?" she asked.
"I took a large serrated knife to it and cut it in half," she said with wild eyes and gritted teeth. "It felt so good."
"That's nice, dear," I said, thinking that it would probably be wise if I never spring any leaks.
Grant McGee is a long-time broadcaster and former truck driver who
rides bicycles and likes to talk about his many adventures on the road
Contact him at: email@example.com