While society changes, tortillas stay the same

Helena Rodriguez I was proud of myself one day when I cooked pancakes and bacon for my 1 1/2-year-old niece, Marissa. You see, I’m not a very domestic person, but I figured Marissa, being a human vacuum machine like most tots, would quickly absorb my hot cakes. Well, Marissa gives me this strange, twisted look […]

Eating undercooked meat is not rare

Jim Lee Why is undercooked steak called “rare” when it’s so commonplace? Isn’t “rare” supposed to indicate something unusual? There’s nothing unusual about undercooked steak. A lot of people like it that way, but I ain’t one of them, friends and neighbors. Some people like it downright raw in my estimation. Why don’t they just […]

500 columns deserves celebration

Bob Huber Today celebrates an historic event as memorable as the first three-day federal holiday or the research paper by a German professor named Waldseemuller who snubbed the myth of Christopher Columbus and declared Newark, N.J., was discovered by Amerigo Vespucci, thus labeling us “Damned Yankees” forever. What I’m talking about, without running up flags […]

It’s time to thank your bosses, past ans present

Helena Rodriguez In case you haven’t checked your calendar, next Thursday is National Sarcastic Columnist Writers of America Appreciation Day. Forward flowers, candy, large cash donations and cases of imported wine to me, in care of this newspaper. Wait … sorry folks … I looked at my calendar wrong. Next Thursday is actually National Boss […]

Weather reporters are never wrong, really

Jim Lee I am often kidded about guessing wrong when I do the weather on the radio. Well, I am hereby informing the world my forecasts are never wrong. Unlike mere mortals, weather reporter guys are never wrong. True, we are not always right, but we are never wrong. What’s the difference? Sorry, I can’t […]

There’s a flip side to recalling good old days

Bob Huber As a card-carrying member of the Old Geezer Party, I take great pleasure chewing the fat with contemporaries over tales of bygone school days — you know, back when teachers were mean, ugly, stupid dinosaurs, and all the kids were brilliant scholars. “Do you remember that goofy old Miz Gluttenflugger? One time she […]

Fighting can be good for children’s health

Helena Rodriguez My two nieces, Anisha, 11, and Stephanie, 8, were involved in a heated argument about to turn physical when I said to my sister, “Don’t stop them! Fighting is good for them!” Julie looked at me like I was insane. “That’s right!” I said. “Fighting is good for children.” I read it in […]

Unexpected mishaps overshadow the big city scene

Mike Linn I grew up in a city that harbors more than 1 million people, requires an hour to get from the southern end to the northern tip and has more scenes than a Star Wars trilogy. There’s the punk scene, the surfer “howly” scene, the hillbilly “darn wind too strong for squirrel huntin’ ” […]

She was very much like a steel magnolia

David Stevens She enjoyed writing and painting and collecting Indian artifacts. She played the piano, acted as literary agent for creative family members and loved gardening. She was a beauty queen — Miss Roswell in 1947 — and could have been Miss New Mexico if she hadn’t caught the measles and been eliminated from the […]

Being young and ambitious can get you into trouble

Bob Huber Here at the Consumer Institute (Slogan: We’re working to make your dollar worth a dime) we’re investigating two Roswell women who bought a rundown 16,000-square-foot warehouse, which they planned to remodel into a l6,000-square-foot colorful home that strangely resembles a rundown warehouse. In case you’re wondering, I have an insight into this investigation, […]