If ignorance is bliss, I’m in unawareness heaven about common knowledge.
After snoozing through my church alarm, I recently spent pajama-time reading the King James Bible. When I mentioned to Portales theologian friend Isaiah Vance that I’d noticed apparent ambiguities, he dashed my hopes of being a scholarly Magellan, saying hundreds of purported contradictions are routinely studied in seminaries.
• Genesis 1:25-26: Adam is created after beasts. Genesis 2:18-19: God formed the beasts and brought them to Adam.
• Isaiah 14:21: “Prepare slaughter for his children for the iniquity of their fathers...” Deuteronomy 24:16: “…neither shall the children be put to death for their fathers.”
• Proverbs 26:4: “Answer not a fool according to his folly...” Proverbs 26:5: “Answer a fool according to his folly…”
• Exodus 24:10: “And they saw the God of Israel…” I John 4:12: “No man hath seen God…”
• Genesis 1-16: Light is created on the first day; the sun the fourth.
Isaiah said seminaries clarify contrarieties through the lens of context, metaphor, symbolism, misunderstanding, misrepresentation, mistranslation or simple copying errors.
After blazing no new textuary trails, I’ve decided to seek pedantic fame analyzing classics: Ahab getting his leg swallowed by “Moby Dick,” campaign promises and — the greatest fiction of all — my resume.
Wendel Sloan was raised in a Protestant church. Contact him at: firstname.lastname@example.org