The mailbox is flooded. Either I’m not paying my bills, or it’s election season.
Don’t worry, Columbia House. I am paying my bills — after I discuss the biannual junk mail vote drive.
Those who didn’t mail me anything aren’t mentioned. Those who did don’t get a chance to respond (they had opportunity enough at my mailbox).
• John MCain is hiding — hiding so well his face ain’t on the flyer. The Democratic Party of New Mexico says McCain is hiding “a huge tax on your health benefits.”
And that $5,000 tax credit McCain’s promoting to help you buy insurance? You won’t see that tax credit because — get this — it’s going to go to the insurance company.
Come to think of it, the bank loaned me money for a car, but gave it directly to the Dodge dealership. That dirty John McCain stole my car loan.
• Ah ... America, The Land That I Love. But does Barack Obama love American values?
At a high-dollar San Francisco fundraiser, Obama said people in small towns “... get bitter, they cling to guns or religion.” (I wonder if it was anything like the high-dollar San Diego fund-raiser that John McCain attended when he skipped the vote for the GI Bill.)
Hope Obama’s wrong. Bad things happen when somebody in church is clinging to a gun.
• Hey, it’s NM People magazine. But I’m not a subscriber — who would subscribe to a four-page magazine dedicated solely to State Rep. Joe Campos?
It says Campos is about, “people, not politics.” Plus, there’s a Q&A, apparently written and answered by Campos’ campaign.
Campos’ flyer asks, “How are you able to serve the needs of so many different people?” Campos responds, “Good question.”
Head ... hurts ... good question? Good question? Once you’ve congratulated yourself for asking yourself a question, must I read further?
• Maybe Joe Campos knows Jose Campos. That’s who Matt Rush is warning me about. While Joe has been putting people before politics, Jose voted to raise state gas taxes this year and in 2003, “out-of-touch politician Jose Campos voted to allow (illegal aliens) to have driver’s licenses.”
“Now that just doesn’t make much sense,” Rush says. What doesn’t make sense is how somebody like Jose got re-elected, unless there’s something positive he did Rush isn’t mentioning. Maybe Campos should have told Campos his qualifications.
• What hope is there for dead loved ones? I see that humans can live again by ... whoops. Sorry, that was a flyer I got from Jehovah’s Witnesses. Not sure how that got in there.
• It’s Tom Udall, in a cowboy hat. He’s running for Senate ... or sheriff of Rock Ridge.
“I think the job of a U.S. senator is to do what’s right for New Mexico, no matter what,” the flyer says. “That’s why as attorney general I toughened drunk driving laws and prosecuted corrupt elected officials — it didn’t matter to me they were in my party.”
That sounds really familiar. Heard it on TV a few hundred times, but that guy wasn’t awkwardly wearing a cowboy hat.
• treat these mailers like the junk mail I get telling me my car warranty is expiring. In both cases, I refuse to trust them at face value. I voted early and did independent research consulting media outlets and Democratic, Republican and Libertarian friends.
• just wanted to remind The Land That I Love of one thing — voting’s a responsibility, not a book report from your mailbox.
Kevin Wilson is a columnist for Freedom New Mexico. He can be contacted at 763-3431, ext. 313, or by e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org