Taboo subjects always game for discussion

Two things I always get in trouble for discussing too passionately are sports and politics. I never learn.

l My favorite episode of “Cheers” prominently involves the Boston Celtics, as former Celtic great Kevin McHale loses his on-court focus due to a bar-room conversation about the number of bolts in the Boston Garden Floor.

Truth is stranger than fiction, I’m finding, as a Boston bar is rumored to have affected the Celtics’ recent playoff success.

The Celtics were deadlocked against the Atlanta Hawks, with the do-or-die Game 7 two Sundays ago. In a recent Boston Globe notes column, lounge operator Patrick Lyons was outed as a possible boon to the Celtics.

Lyons operates the hotel lounge where the Hawks stayed prior to Game 7 of the team’s first-round series against Boston, and a league source said Lyons ordered  bar staff to give a double shot in any alcoholic beverage served to a Hawks player or coach.

In the game that followed, according to The Associated Press, “the Celtics started the celebration early, holding the Hawks to 10 points in the second quarter and doubling their 18-point halftime lead in the third.”

With the Celtics and Cleveland Cavaliers tied at two games apiece, I’ve got two things to say about this report. First, LeBron James and his Cavalier teammates better bring their own beverages to Boston. Second, the NBA is much more entertaining when the Celtics are competitive.

l Only CNN’s Jack Cafferty seems to be nailing this point about flag lapel pins. On Monday he called his colleagues out on how ridiculous it was to judge a candidate based on what they’re wearing when there are wars and fuel costs to be discussed.

We’re not hearing much on those issues, but CNN has time to call itself “The Best Political Team on Television” or MSNBC anchors declare they work for “The Place for Politics.” 

It makes me wonder if I could simply reduce network news campaign coverage into a Mad Libs-type story and save them all the work. The format doesn’t work well for a column, but I’m considering blogging something to our company’s SiteLife feature (which you can check out under the “Publish Your Stuff” section). Here’s a preview I’m thinking:

“The 2008 election is the most (adjective) election of our time, and we’ve got to make sure we find a leader who will make sure gas doesn’t get to $(number) a gallon. But the important questions are, will voters back a candidate who is (number) years old? Or will they pick a candidate who’s been tied to the (religion) faith? We go to political correspondent (celebrity name) for the full story ...

“Thanks. The attacks are becoming (adjective), and people are wondering if the (animal)s are now running the zoo for each party. Barack Obama is taking a serious hit because he won’t wear a (piece of jewelry) and he can’t seem to connect with voters because his bowling score is (number). Still, Clinton insiders suggest she can catch Obama in the delegates race, but won’t acknowledge they need (number higher than 60) percent of remaining delegates to do that.

“That’s all for now. In other news, (number) American troops died in Iraq today. We don’t have time to talk about who they were, because it’s hard work being America’s most (adjective) political team.”

Kevin Wilson is a columnist for Freedom New Mexico. He can be contacted at 763-3431, ext. 316, or by e-mail:
kevin_wilson@link.freedom.com