Jan. 13, 2008 Library Books

The following books are now available at the Public Library: The Lemonade Club by Patricia Polacco Traci and her best friend Marilyn were both in Miss Wichelman’s fifth grade class — a good thing, since the two were inseparable. Miss Wichelman was one of those teachers who brought out the best in her students. Her […]

Friends, family recall columnist’s humor, upbeat personality

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By Karl Terry: PNT Managing Editor He liked a laugh and a good cigar. He enjoyed plenty of both. Robert “Bob” E. Huber, journalist, freelance writer and newspaper columnist, died early Friday morning at his home in Portales. He was best known in Portales and Clovis for his weekly humor column that ran in the […]

“Gnaws” will rule the world

By Bob Huber: PNT Columnist Here at the Old Reporters’ Retirement Home, I’m spicing up each day by writing a horror story. It’s a TV documentary inspired by an actual event. Hollywood will love it. It’ll star Arnold Schwarzenegger. I call it “Gnaws.” The actual event went like this: We remodeled our house one time, […]

Snakes scare me more than Social Security

By Bob Huber: PNT columnist Is Social Security safe? We’re told that unless meaningful reform is implemented, the system will be bankrupt by the year 2050, which will plunge us into chaos, despair, and extreme whining. I don’t care, because I plan to be dead by then. So let’s forget about THAT problem. Instead, on […]

Valentine’s Day sometimes needs troubleshooting

By Bob Huber A couple of years ago I was in a quandary concerning an appropriate Valentine’s Day gift for my wife Marilyn. Should I buy her a new fly rod or a miter saw? I’ve always been a hopeless romantic. All our married lives I never let Valentine’s Day slip by without lavishing some […]

Poinsettia placement a problem

By Bob Huber When Christmas dust settles, I always face a colossal quandary — what do I do with the poinsettias? They never come with directions. In many cases, I don’t even know who sent them. To my way of thinking, they’ve turned into a national dilemma. Do I transplant them in the garden? Hack […]

Short night a time to elope

By Bob Huber There was a crucial moment preceding my half-century matrimonial partnership that made my future wife Marilyn shout, “You WHAT?” Her scary attitude resulted from something I mumbled in her ear about eloping and getting married. We were students at the time at the University of Colorado, a campus full of world class […]

That old apple tree will surprise you every year

Bob Huber On the north side of our house, a scant five feet from our living room, stands a scraggly apple tree planted about the same time as the battle at Appomattox by a fun-loving previous owner. Each spring I prune it, because it likes to creep under the roof and change TV channels, and […]

She was very much like a steel magnolia

David Stevens She enjoyed writing and painting and collecting Indian artifacts. She played the piano, acted as literary agent for creative family members and loved gardening. She was a beauty queen — Miss Roswell in 1947 — and could have been Miss New Mexico if she hadn’t caught the measles and been eliminated from the […]

No matter what the reason, going bald is not easy

Bob Huber No matter how you look at it, the only solution to baldness is hair. That’s what I keep telling my wife Marilyn these days, because recently she came under the auspices of modern medicine and overnight lapsed into what’s known in medical circles as the Michael Jordan Syndrome, or “Slickem Skullatus.”  You see, […]

Watch out for Marilyn, and don’t step on her garden

Bob Huber Hey, you fun-loving, glassy-eyed, patriotic young squirts who each summer evening toss empty beer cans on our lawn. You’re in deep doo-doo. If you have any sense at all, you’ll get out of Dodge before sundown, because you’ve made my wife Marilyn mad. I’ll tell you, guys, when she gets mad, the entire […]

Brushing up on camouflage

By Bob Huber This is a good day to brush up on your natural camouflage, otherwise called selective coloration by guys in white jackets who are picky about descriptive terms. My own invisibility is a case in point, but also a nuisance for my wife Marilyn who insists I could be arrested if I rely […]